I was talking to Malik the other day about his lunchbox and what he’d like in it. The older boys are at the age where they make their own lunchboxes now, but Malik mentioned that he doesn’t always feel full because he shares his lunch with a friend at school. I asked if that made him uncomfortable and he said no, but he does get hungry. So, I suggested maybe we could pack more so he could share and still have enough for himself. He agreed, and that’s what we’ll start doing.
This got me thinking…
As parents, we often pack our children’s lunchboxes without asking them what they’d like. When they get to school, they might not enjoy what’s inside, leading them to share, give it away, or not eat it at all. But when we collaborate with them, ensuring their lunch reflects their preferences, they go to school satisfied and content.
Sometimes, a child might dislike their lunch enough to trade or take from others. In other cases, they may love their lunch so much that others become envious, trying to manipulate or trade for what they desire.
How children handle these situations reflects what they’ve learned at home. Are we involving them in decision-making and teaching them to protect what’s theirs? Are we equipping them to handle challenges, like when someone tries to take from them?
I believe in sharing, but from a place of abundance – not at the cost of someone else. It’s important to foster a mindset of “I have my own, you have your own and we can share.” Sharing should come from a good place, not from a sense of lack.
This simple analogy carries weight beyond childhood. Even as adults, we face these dynamics. Are we equipped to protect what we have, or do we feel the need to manipulate our way into getting what we think we lack? It’s worth reflecting on how these early lessons shape us – and our children – throughout life.