The Mother’s Issue
Mother’s Day is in the same month as worker’s day – and boy can we feel it!
And you know what’s funny? Father’s Day being in the same month as Youth Month… let me not digress.
I’ve recently been very contemplative. I hear this happens a lot after you turn 30. I’ve been thinking a lot about all the ways I have been mothered, we’ve been traumatised by motherhood and we’ve censored ourselves because we want to be prim and proper and fit into this dog eat dog man’s world.
Being mothered throughout my own life by my Aunts, Grandmothers, my mother, my teachers, my friend’s mothers, my mom in law, my mentors, work mothers… I could go on.
I would often wonder where this voice that would utter “Whooo this one thinks she’s my mother” would come from… as someone would remind me that they loved me or as someone trigger in me someone that spoke to how I was mothered or would cover me the way a mother would.
We’re only as wise as our experiences and we only question from our own points of reference right?
And Our points of references tend to be from how we were mothered right?
I sometimes wonder if some of us understand that motherhood and the point of reference of motherhood does come from our individual experiences.
We can recreate these experiences and share them in the world in the most beautiful way.
So this year on the 12th of February, my middle son’s birthday, I took part in the Midmar Mile. I don’t think he forgives me for stealing his shine on that day.
I’ve been swimming as exercise for a while but had literally decided in October 2021 that it’s time to hit the open water for the first time since I’d left high school. I trained, worked on my stroke correction, bought enough swimming costume and gear to suss out which would be best and most comfortable in open water. I did my best time in the swimming pool smashing my own personal best just a week before Midmar at about 36 minutes for a mile.
It’s Midmar day and Hubby along with the kids are all there.
The kids are in the water playing on the edge of the river, it’s a jovial and exciting energy and vibe in the air. I’m both excited and nervous as I await my girlfriends who we’re also partaking in the mile. They arrived and we get through registration. The nerves start edging off and the adrenaline starts kicking in and I tell my friends almost telling myself too “guys if we view this as another practice and we just focus on getting the other side, we’ll be fine.”
We all nod, set our smart watches to begin the race and off we go.
If I tell you the many feelings that occur in that water…
The journey in that choppy water… shuuu…
So hear me out… I had trained in a swimming pool. It was me against my watch and the lanes. Here… it was me chasing down the end buoy/marker. And trying to stay on course and trying to not get pushed down or back by any current (whether life saver boats or even the choppy water caused by other swimmers).
(Read more in the Magazine)
AoS x Nonkanyiso “LaConco” Conco
The much-anticipated Mothers Day Sit Down with Real Housewife of Durban Nonkanyiso ‘LaConco’ Conco is finally here! Olwethu sits down for a reflective and inspiring conversation with LaConco. The two boy moms talk about the joys and challenges of being working moms, the state of African parenting, mom guilt and raising boys in this current climate. LaC, also shares a word of encouragement and love for all you Mothers. Happy Mothers Day from the AoS team. We hope this conversation inspires and encourages you on your transformational journey also known as motherhood.
Modern Pathways to Motherhood
There are many pathways to motherhood that our parents never dreamed of having that are available to us and today we have the privilege of learning from this honest young Black sister who literally and figuratively put in the work and followed her heart and intuition by choosing donor insemination as her route to fulfilling her dream of becoming a mother.
Intuition Series: The Life Cycle of Intuition
The Intuition Series looks at the concept of intuition as more than just a peripheral feeling that beckons suspicion, but rather a tool for navigating the world. What could our lives look like if we gave more attention to intuition and nurtured its development in young people? This series takes a deeper look at intuition as a resource for navigating social life.
We Review Sihle Bolani’s ‘Nah, keep your strength’
AoS dives into Sihle Bolani’s latest offering ‘Nah, keep your strength a personal and prophetic exploration of how her inherited trauma informs her experienced trauma and how she shows up as a daughter, mother, friend and professional. It’s a tear jerking introspective must read!