Tuesdays are usually our date nights and on 2 March 2021 we sat in the office at around 5.30pm trying to decide what we would be doing that evening.
Do we tackle this deadline that’s looming?
Do we go home, sneak into the house and lock ourselves in our bedroom with a bottle of wine?
Should we go to our favourite restaurant?
We seemed unrushed but restless.
Hubby’s phone rang with a phone call from our domestic, Marori.
“Hello Aunty”
Silence. His face goes cold. Eyes go wide. He scrambles for the car keys.
“What? What’s happening?” I almost scream.
“Ojwang Aunty?” He speaks into the phone trying to mask fear and panic.
“What happened?” I ask again… I can now hear not only Aunty’s panicked voice and the other two, Mikaili and Malik screaming in the back.
“Morgan is hurt. Aunty says It’s bad,” Hubby says as he scrambles unable to decide whether to pack his belongings and run… a lot is playing in his head and mine at this point.
A parent’s worst nightmare hit us. It feels like the moments you always think of and fear when someone calls you from home and you hear panic in their voice, but immediate calm comes over you when it’s just about bread that ran out.
“Just run to the house, I’ll lock up.”
Hubby ran out, practically sprinting. He arrived home which is about 600meters away from the office in no time to his worst fears being realized.
In my husband’s words “on the long but very short drive to the house, I had to choose between being a dad or switch to emergency service mode. I had to be a paramedic in that moment because there was so much going on. Mikaili is screaming ‘I don’t want Morgan to die’ and Malik is crying about Morgan bleeding. It was all a mess and there was so much blood.”
Hubby scooped up Morgan and put him into the backseat of the car and proceeded to the hospital.
Back at the office, as soon as hubby had dashed out some kind of grief overcame me. I collapsed into my chair in the boardroom and pleaded with God and our ancestors. I pleaded with the ancestors to talk to God for Morgan. I had no idea what the magnitude of it all is, but I understood that all things are purposed. I immediately spoke to God and said, “I know that this child has so much purpose so if this is a lesson for myself or Neo, help us see it. But please not my child.”
I picked up the phone to call Hubby who should be at the house by now, he was already in the car on the way to the hospital.
“Love, it’s bad!” Was all he could say.
“Bad where? How?” I needed to know what we were dealing with.
“His leg love…” At this point he seems distracted… “…Morgan stay awake… Morgan can you hear me…”
My heart sank. I locked up the office, booked an Uber and on my walk to meet my Uber I was praying. I was a mess.
I was pretty much prepared for anything at this stage.
I’m thinking everything…
‘Okay so it’s the leg… is it crush? Is it broken? Also… my husband is a hypochondriac so when he says ‘bad’ maybe he’s being dramatic. He’s also trying to keep him awake… is he in that much pain? Is he losing blood?’
Many scenarios played in my head and I was ready for anything on arrival at the hospital.
As I stepped into the emergency at Waterfall hospital, I was scared but also ready. I greeted the familiar faces of the administrators, the nurse at triage and mentioned my son’s name and that he was already inside. They mentioned that due to COVID19 regulations, only one parent was allowed in at one go, I mentioned that I just want to see if he’s fine then I’ll come back out. They let me in.
I walked in the front door after COVID protocols were all done and into emergency operating room. He was dripped and drugged. The doctor asked me what happened, and I felt like such a useless mother with the response of “I don’t know.” Hubby didn’t know either, but my child’s leg had a 23 cm sever that cut through to the bone. Main nerves and veins were affected and he needed surgery pronto. He had also lost a lot of blood.
Morgan was unwilling to speak. Trauma. We understood.
But he was adamant that he didn’t want his mommy to leave his side.
I knew then that what was to come would be a long road. We rushed back home to collect some clothes and toiletries for a minimum 3-day stay.
On return, I did a COVID test and we were ushered into the holding ward as we awaited our COVID19 results. For night one, he would be morphine up and bandaged.
The next few days would play out like a miracle.
Hubby was a mess.
He returned home to a quieter house, our eldest and youngest sleeping. Marori sobbing from the shock and trauma. He says he couldn’t unhear the kids’ screams. His own childhood trauma kicked in and the trauma of losing loved ones. They played out in him watching himself through the eyes of our children.
Man, do we actually ever really fully heal, or do we need some traumas to actually make us see the traumas we haven’t dealt with?
We were told Morgan would most likely go into surgery at around 9am in the morning, so no food past 10pm. This would also depend on the arrival of our COVID19 test results.
The surgeon arrived at around 7am in the morning.
Surprisingly, I managed to get a bit of sleep that night on the hospital bedside. She scheduled him for surgery at 3pm and gave him the go ahead to have some breakfast but no eating after 10am.
Our COVID results returned negative and we were wheeled into the paediatric ward to settle into our temporary space as we awaited surgery and the outcome.
I felt positive about the injury and so was the surgeon. I was a little in denial, I think, of the extent of the injury. To this day, I do not want to see the images. And I think it is a big contributor to keeping Morgan positive and on the mend.
When he woke up that morning, Mikaili stumbled into our main bedroom in a defeated sadness. To find only his dad there.
“Dada, Morgan is dead right?”
“Morgan’s going to be fine my boy.” Hubby responded
“Dada you don’t have to lie to me. Morgan is dead.” He said in tears.
They had to ring us via Facetime that afternoon for him to believe Morgan was okay.
As he saw Morgan’s face on the other side of the phone he exclaimed:
“Morgan. Oh my gosh! You’re alive! It’s you! Morgan, how does it feel to have died and to be alive?”
The room of 2 other moms and myself in the paediatric ward burst into a loud laughter.
But there was a lesson here. I won’t delve into it now. But children are special, man!
We arrived at the paediatric ward and I gave Morgan lunch at around 11am… He had had about two bites of pizza and an apple juice when a nurse walked in and asked “Hayibo, is this guy not going to surgery at 3?”
I was so disappointed with myself.
Surgery had to now be moved down along the day.
Morgan was eventually wheeled into surgery later that afternoon.
It was meant to be quick. About an hour the surgeon thought. It was 3 hours but felt like 5 hours.
The paediatric surgeon had opened the wound and realized that the extent of the injury would require an orthopaedic surgeon instead. By God’s grace, the orthopaedic surgeon available at the hospital at that time happened to have just wrapped up and was on his way out. He made an about turn and into the surgery room.
“He (the orthopaedic surgeon) did a marvellous job. That was quite the injury!” She said (the paediatric surgeon).
We were told that the surgeon did his best but there would be a 50/50 chance of Morgan walking and having full functioning of his leg. This would be a long journey.
“50% chance” … cool there’s a chance.
“There’s a severed vein. We repaired it but we need to see if blood can flow through it.”
“The muscles will need to repair, and we need to work them.”
I sobbed the entire first night after the surgery. I cried because I was still in denial. I clung to only the good. But then the numbers and the extent hit me like a ton of bricks.
When I was done crying, I put the “I’m gonna be the mom focused on the full recovery” mode on.
Because I did not have the initial injury in my mind, I pushed past what the negatives were. I saw each time a nurse would walk in and look at the file, they would feel pity and empathy. It would remind me “must have been bad”. But I told myself if I was to find out, I would want to baby him. He wouldn’t want to walk.
The trauma was still fresh in his mind to. He didn’t want to talk about it at all. He didn’t want to talk about the incident. In fact, he didn’t speak for 2 days straight after the incident either than to say “Mommy”.
On day 1 after surgery, we were choosing between crutches and walkers and navigating the new pain he’d be in. I was monitoring his pain threshold and how often the waves of pain came. I was gearing up for the road ahead.
“It could take anything between 9 months and a few years for him to have full functionality in that leg.” His voice drifted the more he spoke.
Hubby issued a message to the entire family notifying everyone of what happened. Prayers were streaming in and my mentor called and said the words that would change my entire life:
“You speak power to this. Whatever you believe will happen, will happen. You choose what words you will speak into this situation. Nothing is bigger than my God.”
The same God I pleaded with. The same God I asked my family and ancestors to plead for me to. Of course, nothing’s bigger than him.
I told my hubby “It is well”.
I asked Morgan “Do you want to walk now, or do you want to lie in bed for a while and have a long recovery?”
He responded with “Now Mommy”
“We are going to be positive and work on it. You have to be positive and push through.” I spoke.
The first few days of therapy were traumatic and emotional.
At home the journey was going to be long. But the psychological impact of an injury hits everyone differently. Everyone that was privy to the extent of the injury were so afraid of pushing him and basically were okay with him lying in bed, with no movement. But those were not the doctor’s orders.
I, being the only one who was not privy to the initial injury, followed doctor’s orders, but with a mom’s love. We had to work on the mind first and the healing of that in the journey.
We’ve had to look into therapy for everyone in the home and work on our healing. The entire family rallied around us during this ordeal. Morgan, who was not speaking from trauma, spoke and opened up sharing what happened with his cousin. I overheard this and assured him it wasn’t his fault.
They were playing in an area they shouldn’t have been in in the yard, he jumped from a platform and into a glass frame, inflicting a serious injury.
Mikaili was with him, and realizing something was wrong with Morgan, as well as the sight of blood, he rushed to call Aunty/MaRori who would carry Morgan into the house and keep the wound covered with towels until Hubby got there.
We can testify that 3 weeks later, Morgan – to the shock of doctors – is walking and 80% recovered. He is a living miracle. The extent of his injury dictates he should still be on crutches and in physiotherapy. We are now working on the muscles and the mind. There are moments I think he remembers the extent of his injury and the pain, and in those moments, he doesn’t want to do the work.
But that’s the journey, right? We have to remind him he’s got this.
I am grateful now more than ever for family and close friends. For those that saw me out and asked how I was and when I said I’m fine, asked again “How are YOU?” and teary eyed I said, “tired, but grateful”. I’m grateful for those that help space for my family especially my boys. There was a time I was so exhausted from the night terrors and the pain Morgan was going through. We had temporarily emptied my closet and moved a bed in there so we could attend to his needs. But it was so exhausting. I got tired of it and got tired from it. My husband helped us all together during this time.
Not many of us have the benefit of going through journeys and finding the lesson in a span of a few weeks. I do not take this for granted. But, I pray that you at the very least heal. That your traumas don’t catch up with you when you are not ready to meet them. I pray you have kindness around you and a balance between those that understand, empathise and are set on reminding you how bad ass you are. I also pray you will be ready to receive healing and goodness in the same way our beautiful children are.
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This was a beautiful read ! You , Olwethu are an amazing momma . I’m a FTM if 3 months and for some reason I have never imagined myself in a situation where my son got hurt . But after you sharing your story,i now know How I’m going to deal with it , so thank you. You are doing an amazing job!
What a piece!! This took me back to when I received news of my daughter’s cerebral palsy diagnosis, then a year and half later her deafness diagnosis, a year later, her autism diagnosis and a few months later, the chronic epilepsy diagnosis. The first two diagnosis- the reaction was the same- fear, doubt, heaviness but it was my mother to me who gave me strength to fight like your mentor. Her words were always ‘Okay, let’s cry today but we need to fight and find a solution tomorrow’ she only had to say those words to me the first 2 times because on the third and fourth diagnosis I just nodded to the doctor’s diagnosis and ‘left it there in his rooms’ and did not take it to my home because I rebuked it and I had called on Hod to reveal himself, I told him ‘No, not me, not my child, not anymore’ I regained my power and my daughter has been living without her chronic medication for close to two years now and we haven’t seen any epileptic fits. Instead, she took her first steps at 5 years old and has never looked back ever since.
Once something happens to your baby- as the mother you decide to give it life or death. I’m so proud of your strides with Morgan and his recovery. You’re doing an incredible job.
(Apologies for the long message, I just had to testify of the Lord’s work)
Wow, look at God. My son was diagnosed with autism at 4 years old and only started to speak at 5 /6. Reading this has ignited a hope for him to do more. I cried so much. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Hi Lerato,
Please also see this conversation I had with Veli and Ilana – you can watch it here: https://www.artofsuperwoman.com/2021/08/16/autism-parenting-with-vezi-silwanyana-ilana-gerschlowitz/
Wow you are an amazing mother !!!!!!
Wow! Morgan a warrior… it must be difficult to leave home and still do what you do.to you and Neo stay blessed and strong …
I’m sobbing terribly,I also am a mother of 3(2 boys and a girl)…..I’m really sorry you had to go through this sisi.Praying for you💕
Gosh I was teary eyed throughout this entire read. I’m 5 months pregnant and recently fell down a flight is stairs. Only my right leg was badly injured and the rest of me was bruised. I still don’t want to think about that night and what else could’ve happened. Now can not imagine the trauma on Morgan and his brothers for this incident.
I’m so glad there is a happy ending though 😊
You are an amazing human, super woman indeed,I can’t believe you went through so much yet kept being creative. You and your hubby make a great team, the boys are lucky to have you as parents, am always drawn to your page because of your creativity and positivity, never stop you are doing very well❤️
God bless your heart sis. You’re truly a super woman. Your love for your kids is living and has breathe life into a situation that could have turned otherwise.
It’s true, sometimes out traumas are realized when a new trauma occurs similar to that we have experienced prior…thank you for sharing this experience. I wish you and your family more healing and more love.
You are amazing Olwethu!!
Keep shining superwoman❤️
Wow, so much to learn from your experience. You and hubby you are doing a great job in raising your kids..love this partnership 👏
Wow what a beautiful story
To God be the Glory and strength to you mamakhe
The power of prayer.I went through a knee surgery in Feb 2019 and was unable to run nevertheless go up the stairs.Still can’t wear my 👠heels. So I have been praying for healing,going for physiotherapy and check ups.This year Feb,I started running and m now doing 2kms daily and 200 skipping rope. God is our healer🙏
You are a superwoman Olwethu and I love how you painted your experience. I’m glad that Morgan has recovered, God shows us miracles in situations we can’t see a way through. I love what your mentor said. I’ve drawn so many parenting lessons from you. 🌻
Reading this took me back to the trauma we experienced last year, where our 6 year old had a bicycle accident which left her skin on the bicycle spindle and fractured her tibia. The weeks that came after that wee exhausting. To make matters worse, the wound got infected underneath the cast and we spent a week in hospital treating the infection. Weeks later, depleted annual leave and family responsibility leave our baby girl was walking on her own. Thank you so much for sharing Sisi Olwethu
I just sobbed as I was reading this. We thank God for the healing, thank you sis Olwethu for sharing.
Wow…. what a beautiful testimony.
Mathew 9:20 “Take heart, daughter,” he said, ‘your faith has healed you.’ And the woman was healed at that moment.”
You are doing an amazing job and we are learning a lot from you.
Jesus is Lord. Nothing is too hard for Him. Thank you for sharing. Wishing the little man continued strength.
Yoh Olwethu there is nothing easy about having a little one in hospital. I am still not strong enough to tell the story of being sent into earlyish labour by my sick toddler and then having to move from a new born to a sick toddler in the same hospital every could of hours for under a week. I wish you love, strength and good health for yourself and your beautiful family. ♥️
Thank you for sharing such a miracle of a story. Indeed God is bigger than any situation and we thank him for showing himself to your boys healing.. the lessons shared are just the reminders I needed today and I’m so grateful..May God continue to give him full recovery ❤️ And you are such an inspiring mommy, siyabulela 🙏🏾
Moved beyond 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾😭😭😭.
The Grace of God, the Power of the tongue, the unwavering faith of a Mother (and Father) .. so many lessons in this .. and of course .. the long and short term effects of trauma!! (Check out Oprah’s latest book)
I feel like this needs a podcast ..
Thank you for sharing, your strength and belief are beyond measure may god continue to lay his hand on your family
Oh wow! God is great, Olwethu. Wishing you all continued strength! So glad that Morgan is doing better…all your children are brave and fighters.
Thank you for sharing your story. May God strength you all.
Wonderful blog Olwethu. Happy Morgan is recovery. Strength to you and your beautiful family ❤️❤️
What a powerful piece. Speak power into every situation. Your mentors words…wow! Bless you and your family for sharing this.
Wow such an amazing mom and family all together, this made me tear up but you handled it like a boss mom🙏🏽❤. We thank God for his healing. The trauma lesson surely hits hard
Thank you so much for sharing your story. My daughter and I were in the same paediatric ward with you on the day you moved into the ward. We were in the bed opposite you.
I immediately recognized you but I didn’t want to intrude and didn’t approach you.
We overhead the nurses talking about the surgeon when they realised your son had eaten before the surgery and my daughter said mommy, that’s my doctor! You see, a few months back the doctor had performed a biopsy on my daughter.
We were discharged later that day and although we didn’t know what happened to your son, both my daughter and I prayed for his full recovery.
We thank God for his healing power and for keeping your family strong. Here’s praying for complete and total healing for Morgan!
Ohhh God!!! Thankful for Morgan’s recovery 🙏🏽 Wow what a read Sisi ❤️ I pray God keep and sustain your family 🙏🏽❤️
Thank you for sharing this experience with us. Through your journey, we too find some healing. Our God is in the business of miracles.
This reminds me of my childhood experience of breaking an arm. With all that trauma, your post has helped me see the incidence in my moms eyes. I’m going to share this with her.
Yo this really is a lesson. I believe and learned how I would deal with injuries going forward. More than anything ur mentors words has reassured me of my own trauma I went through early this year.
Look at God🙌🙏
If there is a mom I look up too it had to be you Olwethu. You continue to keep shining sisi. Stay blessed and May the Good Lord continue to bless and keep you sisi. You are amazing. ❣️♥️ Stay ever blessed and inspiring!!
I sobbed reading your blog, this was traumatic.
Bless Marori, your children have a mother there. It is good to read about fathers who are hands-on like Neo.
Big ups to you supa mfazi, Olwethu you are magic and I love you.
This is actually such a great and beautiful miracle. Morgan is really and truly loved, by you as the parents, but more importantly by God.
This reminds me of an injury my mom had back in 2001. She was told that the fall she had would leave her paralysed and wouldn’t be able to walk again. But she was headstrong. Literally two days later, still in hospital, she forced herself out of bed to go to the toilet. The nurse who found her walking back to the bed called her doctor immediately because I mean ‘wtf’ this woman was supposed to be on her back in bed.
All the doctor could say when he arrived was that what happened was a miracle.
There’s many other things that have been so miraculous in my moms life, that I don’t know how to describe just how special she was in God’s eyes, even to her death. She passed away last year in hospital. She drove herself for her check up, but whatever thing went wrong but she died in hospital. When I left her that morning to go to work, she was very well and chatty and I remember telling her I’ll see her after work for lunch and she was cool.
I think she knew tho that my sister and I wouldn’t have been able to handle it if she had taken her last breath at home, so she did it at the hospital. Also… Gods love for her allowed my mom to receive the funeral she always desired to have. It was peaceful, she had a white casket with Gold handles, she looked good, everybody ate good, clean food, and everything was as orderly as she was.
These are the things I think about every time my trauma from losing her tries to awake… losing her is such trauma, but remembering her life and thinking about the good keeps me sane.
I now long to have a loving husband, one who will absolutely adore me and take care of me as I have been all my life by my mom. Just an amazing human I can build a life with. I did all I can to take care of my mom that the only guilt I have is that in her few final months I wasn’t as mentally and emotionally strong to do it all as good as I did all these years before.
I was worried when I saw the cast on Morgan’s legs in one of your stories some weeks ago, and I personally think I said a prayer for him as well so I’m super glad to see and hear about his recovery. God is truly amazing…. and you’re an amazing mom. ♥️
Your mom is up in the sky arranging things and chatting to God about that husband. Have conversations with her and tell her the husband you want. She is listening and making it all come true.
So sorry you lost her. She sounds like such an awesome woman! May you be at peace that though she is not in human form, she is in a free and most beautiful place looking over you.
Thank you for your prayers! We sure felt them!
This is such an inspiring read and very encouraging. I may not be a parent or wife as yet, butI definitely got something out of this.
This is beautifully written! The suspense in the beginning. 😩🥺
To God be the glory!
This was such a beautiful read! I laughed & I sobbed! Well written! Shout out to Morgan, super proud of you! Mikaili made me cackle & I hope MaRori is okay!