’There are levels to this thing!’’ a character in a popular TV commercial once said, referring to his affordability of certain types of food. What level is your relationship on? Do you worry about such nitty-gritties? Or do you just go with the flow, dive into a relationship and see what happens? This relationships feature explores where ‘mjolo’ can literally take you…
In today’s fast paced world, we tend to get easily swept away by the hustle and bustle of our demanding day-to-day activities. Scrolling down your social media timeline, the ‘love lives here’ and ‘couple goals’ squad will school you on ideas for planning your ideal baecation.
It may sound easy, but the reality is, deciding on the type of destination to go to can get tricky. Whether you’re in a new relationship, long term partnership or if your relationship status still reads ‘it is complicated’, here are some tips that will help you make the right baecation decisions, based on your relationship status:
Relationship Coach, Luzuko Nobongoza says he has observed that during the excitement phase, couples find it easy to have discussions and make almost spontaneous decisions about going on a vacation together.
Travel writer Welcome Lishivha adds that going on a vacation for a first date, is a recipe for disaster. “Make sure you are comfortable with your partner’s behaviour and trust them enough to be in public and in private, without feeling unsafe, with them”, he says.
Safety is a big issue, that cannot be ignored. A few years ago, a young woman was brutally murdered by her newlywed fiancé. This made headlines all over the world. Thinking thoroughly before making a booking at that hotel is a must.
In a Committed Relationship
When you’re in a committed relationship, deciding on your destination is somewhat easier as you already know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Tshego Lebethe while giggling, stereotypically states, “I obviously decided on where we want to go because…well, men right?’’ Her boyfriend of 7 years, Sandile Sagela wanted to celebrate his birthday and Tshego handled the admin of finding a perfect location and bookings. On the subject of finances, Tshego and Sandile did not have any issues, ‘’This was an easy one for us because we generally split our entertainment expenses in two,’’ Tshego elaborates.
“It’s important to get your partner’s input on the itinerary, to make sure that there is time for some downtime. Being on vacation and running from one thing to another can feel more like work than a holiday,” says Lishivha.
“Depending on how complicated the relationship is, couples should clearly outline the intention and duration of the baecation. I would suggest that they use this time to figure out the status of their relationship,’’ says Nobongozi. He further emphasises that, “even though it is not desirable to engage in serious conversations during this time as these could be boring and invoke negative emotions, there is value in leveraging this time away from routine to discuss some pertinent matters for the couple (reflection and planning).’’
Nobongozi says, primarily, the reason why married couples should consider going on a baecation is for a ‘timeout’ breakaway from normal routine. During this plateau phase, discussions about baecations’ are not so easy as they are influenced greatly by finances and occupations. Couples tend to spend a lot more time planning for these than couples in the excitement phase.
“Often married couples are inundated with routine and patterns which seem very positive at first, however over elongated periods, these can result in undesirable outcomes. A baecation with a different setting can reignite passion”, he concludes.
Keep in mind that relationships are dynamic. You may have to go through a trial-and-error process before you find a rhythm that works for you and your partner. It takes time for most people. Others are able to find their sweet spot immediately, for others’ it takes “yonkers” years.
I don’t know about you; however, I am still deciding if I am ready to even COVID baecate.
Let us know in the comments section what your experience of baecation has been like or if you plan on going someplace soon!