In my younger days, I recall a sound of romantic repertoires blasting out of the radio, particularly on a Sunday Afternoon. It was on Capricorn FM, accompanied by a hoarse voice of a popular radio host and they would not stop sensationalising the beauty of romance. The art of serenading your partner and for a man having the skill to be a gentleman and keeping chivalry alive.
A few years ago, Olwethu Leshabane shared that she is conscious and persistent about date nights with her husband, particularly because she doesn’t want to find herself in a position of being boring or being bored in her marriage. You can read more about that here.
Fast-forward to the current day, date nights are still as relevant and important as they were five years ago. Couple them with Chivalry, and reigniting the spark becomes much easier, or it becomes even better than what it was.
Relationship and Intimacy coach Tracy Jacobs shares what comes to her mind when she thinks about chivalry, ‘’when I think of chivalry I think of my father always opening the car door for my mother, myself and my sisters, even as little girls. Or walking on the roadside of the pavement. Chivalry, traditionally, is a term used by gentlemen offering courage, honour and protection to women, as a ‘knight in shining Armor.’
Importance Of Chivalry And Date Nights
Jacobs further explains that Chivalry in relationships can be seen as a lifestyle between partners, not merely designated to men alone, whereby we respect each other, sensitive to each other’s needs, treat each other with dignity, and live with consciousness in the way we treat people, regardless of their sex.
That said, date nights are important in relationships, and Jacobs shared that they are essential for the reasons she calls the 4C’S:
- Communication
- Commitment
- Continuity
- Connection
She elaborates on these, ‘’communication is the key to success in every relationship. Commitment to date night translates into the continuation of the relationship. Lastly, intimacy is established when a connection is formed.’’
The Way To Chivalry
‘’Acts of chivalry make people feel seen, valued, nurtured, and important. It’s the altruistic behaviour of one that stands out as truly honourable. Where there are no hidden agendas or expectations for anything in return,’’ adds Jacobs.
It is important to note that Chivalry extends beyond the romantic relationship. Here are some examples:
- Opening the car door for your partner.
- Allowing the other to go through a doorway first.
- Offering your partner your jacket/jersey when they are cold.
- Spoiling your partner with a gift.
- Standing up to greet a person when they walk into a room.
- Walking your guest out of your house.
A Good Date Night
Usually when we think of date nights, we tend to think of being dressed formally, a restaurant table for two, wine/champagne, and a tailored meal for you and your partner.
However, Jacobs says that you don’t have to be in a restaurant setting to have a perfect date night. ‘’A good date night involves the participation of both individuals. It should be an “event” that the couple anticipates and looks forward to. This is possible every week. The couple takes turns in being responsible for the food, atmosphere, music, lighting, etc. I prefer date night to take place at home as it is possible for more intimacy to be established, the couple are able to ‘set the scene’, it is less costly, the couple are able to cook together and the stress of finding babysitters is alleviated,’’ she explains.
Does Chivalry During Date Night Outlive Date Night Sex?
It may be easier to be led into thinking that sex is what to look forward to when planning a date night. However, Jacobs elaborates,“the whole process from planning to the final stage of date night is important, in fact, chivalry must take precedence. We have to look at it holistically without pointing out one aspect of the date night.”
She continues, ‘’chivalry should precede sexual intimacy, from the planning of date night to the execution of it. Consent must be established before foreplay and communication is vital. If couples feel seen, heard, respected, and safe, then sex should almost be a sure thing!’’
Wrapping up
Some important take-aways from this:
- Chivalry in relationship can be seen as a lifestyle between partners.
- Date night doesn’t have to be an ‘outing’.
- Chivalry allows people to feel seen, and it should precede sexual intimacy.
AoS Shop sells make up, body products, bath products, hair products and underwear that could be an ace in your date night. You can choose to treat yourself to these products or have your partner treat you to them as you plan that indoor date night or even that gift prior to date night.
What did you do for your last date night? Let us know in the comment section.